Two years later. Hitting the Canford Heath trails
Autumn 2012 and I dared to utter the fatal words ‘I can’t run, I’m just not capable’. My trainer, a keen endurance runner immediately took this as me laying down a challenge. Note: Don’t EVER tell a runner you can’t run. They will prove otherwise. Within an hour I’d agreed to give it a go and a week later found myself heading out for my first official run.
Now when I said I couldn’t run, I believed it. At best I’d managed the odd foray to the end of the road. Where, hugely pleased with my endeavour I’d collapse in an exhausted heap, panting and gasping like I’d just been asked to endure several days in the Sahara without any water.
Running. It was something to be endured rather than enjoyed wasn’t it?
After all it had never bought any sense of satisfaction or pride, my body just wasn’t built for it. Those horrific memories of lumbering behind everyone on the cross country track behind school, losing your trainer in the treacle-like mud lurking at the bottom of the murky pools of water. Naturally gifted? Not I. It makes me shudder at the thought. Talk about feeling like your staring down the barrel of a loaded gun! However what I may lack in skill or self belief I make up for in stubbornness, hence the agreement to give it one more go – it’s a common theme, like most people in my life you’ll need to get used to it because it brings the crazy!
So imagine my surprise when 2 miles later, nobody was frantically dialling for an ambulance or fighting over who would actually have to perform CPR on my sweaty form, as drool bubbled over the edges of my lips. Why? I’ll let you into a little secret that I wish I’d been told years ago. Pace yourself.
Sounds so simple, right? No one can step outside and suddenly sprint for miles, it just doesn’t happen. But we all just expect it to happen when we lace up our trainers! You need to be able to breathe, hold a conversation and yes you probably could run faster but it has to be sustainable or we fail, or worse quit for good.
So how did I feel? Had I seen the light? Embraced the religion of running? Nope. Sorry not what you were expecting I guess! But in those 35-40 minutes a very small, ‘blow too hard and it’ll go out’ candle of self belief had started to burn, and that mixed with a sense of curiosity as to what my body could actually achieve committed me to trying again and again.
Now, it only seems fair to address this at the start, I know we’ve all see them. Those almost magical, light footed creatures that seem to glide effortlessly over the tarmac as though their entire purpose in this world is to run. They my friends are a mirage. An illusion, conjured up by your brain to make those standing on the cusp of entering this seemingly forbidden world feel inadequate, unworthy. Here’s the truth, so make your brain listen up. Even those runners didn’t just slip on their trainers and run a marathon. At some point they had the same doubts and fears, struggled to complete mile after mile and most importantly still do.
Let me just repeat that. They have doubts and fears too! It’s just their point of reference that’s changed. They may not feel challenged completing a 10 minute mile anymore but are striving with all their might to break that 7 or 8 min mile barrier or perhaps they’re looking to transition from 10ks to half marathons. It’s all relative.
It niggles at our minds. Can we? Should we? What if someone see’s me? Or that classic that some of my dear friends regularly utter mid run ‘Can people see my bottom jiggling?!’ It’s just fear and self doubt. Do me a favour, tell it where to go. After that first run I did, and still do on regular occasions. About 3 weeks later I was doing it on my own, pushing myself and slowly but surely I ran 2 miles, then 3…
The weirdest thing. This running hating, self doubt ridden woman finally started to not only enjoy running but I longed to see what I could achieve before the rest of the world was awake.
So who am I two years later? I’m a runner. And a happy one at that. I’ve had my ups and downs but we’ll come to that later. For now, whether you’re taking that first step out the door or already embracing the sport, what are you waiting for get out there and run!!
x
Running Strong 